


Son of Man

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tarzan Fusion, Crack, M/M, chanyeol is tarzan, chanyeol wears a loincloth, iridae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:46:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26158264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Getting lost in the jungle was one thing. Getting attacked by a giant mob of rabid monkeys is another, but the naked man that comes swooping down from the treetops above is just something else.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 7
Kudos: 35





	Son of Man

Generally, this is not how Baekhyun wanted this research trip to go.  
  
Getting lost in the jungle was one thing. Getting attacked by a giant mob of rabid monkeys is another, but the naked man that comes swooping down from the treetops above is just _something else_.  
  
Baekhyun shrieks when the man – modesty protected only by a ratty old loincloth, and Baekhyun hasn’t the slightest idea how the guy even _found_ a loincloth in this place – scoops him up with one arm and goes swinging through the jungle with him, seemingly immune to Baekhyun’s hands scrabbling to shove him away. The monkeys are still coming after them, moving faster than Baekhyun ever thought they could do, but this Naked Guy is too fast for them and Baekhyun’s taken away to safety before he can even take a proper breath—that is, if standing on a big tree branch, forty feet in the air, with no rope and no net and not even a pair of sensible shoes can be called ‘safety’.  
  
Naturally, Baekhyun doesn’t find breathing too easy now, either.  
  
“Oh my God,” he gasps, clutching at the tree trunk behind him desperately and lowering himself into a crouch on the branch before dropping down to sit on it instead, straddling the tree with his ankles securely crossed underneath in the hopes he won’t fall to his death. He tries to shuffle around to see if there’s any possible way he can get down from here but feels himself starting to slip as soon as he makes any movement and immediately flattens himself down on the branch instead, letting out a terrified squeak and locking his arms around the tree as well. “Oh _God_! Oh God, oh God, oh-”  
  
Someone sniffs. Baekhyun freezes. Raises his gaze slowly, only to find his face in uncomfortably close proximity with Naked Guy’s loincloth-covered crotch; Baekhyun lets out a yell and shoots back so he’s flattened against the tree trunk again, staring at Naked Guy with wide, horrified eyes.  
  
Naked Guy looks generally unaffected.  
  
“What is this?” Baekhyun demands hoarsely, trembling slightly from the stress of it all. “What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?! Take me _back_!”  
  
Naked Guy just frowns, cocking his head to the side like a curious puppy before creeping closer, flaring his nostrils unattractively wide and scenting at Baekhyun’s face like that’s not _terrifying_.  
  
Baekhyun whimpers in fear and strains his neck away as far as he can without losing his balance. “Oh my God, what are you doing? Oh my- what are you- oh God, go _away_!”  
  
“Go _away_!” Naked Guy suddenly echoes shrilly, sitting back and looking pleased with himself. Baekhyun stares at him, bewildered and more than a little bit annoyed because is this freaky exhibitionist actually _mocking him_?! Naked Guy doesn’t cower under Baekhyun’s fiery gaze, though, merely pauses for a moment longer before squealing again; “ _Go away_!!”  
  
“Go a-?! _You brought me here_!” Baekhyun splutters.  
  
“ _You brought me here_!” Naked Guy shouts back and Baekhyun glares at him.  
  
“Stop it.”  
  
“Stop it.”  
  
“ _Stop_ it!”  
  
“ _Stop it_!”  
  
Baekhyun scowls at Naked Guy.  
  
Naked Guy grins back and Baekhyun decides it’s obviously time for a change in tactics.  
  
“What is your name?” Baekhyun asks slowly and clearly, and Naked Guy’s eyes go wide at the new sounds. Baekhyun has to wonder if he knows any language at all.  
  
“What is your name?” Naked Guy repeats in an odd accent, but it’s understandable enough.  
  
Baekhyun purses his lips and decides he’s got to find _some way_ for this to work. So, he pats his chest with each syllable and answers, “Baek-hyun.”  
  
Naked Guy’s eyes go wide again and he immediately reaches over with long arms to pat Baekhyun’s chest as well. (It takes a lot of self restraint for Baekhyun not to flinch away from the contact, but he manages it and is more than a little proud of himself for his achievement.) “Baek-hyun.”  
  
“Yeah,” Baekhyun nods, patting his chest again. “Baekhyun. And you?” Baekhyun holds a hand out as he asks, an invitation for Naked Guy to reveal his own name, but the stranger just mirrors his action obliviously.  
  
“And you?”  
  
“No- hang on,” Baekhyun sighs, patting his own chest again. “Baekhyun.” Then he reaches over and pats Naked Guy’s chest twice as well, looking at him questioningly and definitely not noticing how he feels like he’s pretty much made of delicious, solid muscle.  
  
He definitely doesn’t notice because that would be super inappropriate, Baekhyun thinks. Also, he reminds the irrational part of his brain that is actually kind of _attracted_ to this lunatic, they are stuck in a tree, in a huge jungle, with no way of escaping. Now is _really_ not the time.  
  
It takes a few repeats of this process – Baekhyun introducing himself then patting Naked Guy in the hopes he’ll speak as well – before Naked Guy stops blinking dumbly at Baekhyun and instead starts mumbling something Baekhyun can’t quite hear. Baekhyun starts saying his own name louder in response, and eventually a miracle happens when Naked Guy pats his own chest over Baekhyun’s hands and says; “Chan-yeol.”  
  
“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun repeats, drawing his hands back.  
  
Chanyeol pouts, a little crease appearing in between his eyebrows as he thinks, before he nods and pats his chest again, a little harder this time. “Chanyeol.”  
  
“Right,” Baekhyun breathes in relief, nodding at Chanyeol. “We’re finally getting somewhere.”  
  
“Baekhyun!” Chanyeol dives forward to pat Baekhyun’s chest again but Baekhyun knocks his hands away easily, instead shuffling his bottom forward on the branch to speak to Chanyeol from a closer proximity.  
  
"Where are you from?" Baekhyun asks slowly, like he's talking to an infant.  
  
Of course, Chanyeol doesn't understand, just echoes Baekhyun's words back to him. "Where are you from?"  
  
Baekhyun sighs and decides to answer him anyway. "I'm an explorer from England. I'm staying at my camp."  
  
"Camp?" Chanyeol repeats curiously.  
  
Baekhyun nods. "Yeah, camp, with my friend Kyungs-"  
  
" _KYUNGSOO_!" Chanyeol suddenly squawks, effectively scaring Baekhyun out of his skin and causing him to skitter back in shock, losing his balance for a moment and having to scramble to right himself.  
  
Once he's securely upright once more, Baekhyun stares at Chanyeol in utter bewilderment. "You know Kyungsoo?!"  
  
"Kyungsoo!" Chanyeol says again in the same shrill tone, blinking a couple of times before continuing; "My towel!"  
  
Baekhyun stares at him.  
  
"It's a jungle," Chanyeol goes on, lowering his voice all of a sudden in an eerily accurate impression of Baekhyun's research partner Kyungsoo. "You don't need a towel. _My towel, Kyungsoo_!" Chanyeol's voice changes back into what must be his Baekhyun impression so abruptly that Baekhyun himself nearly flinches again. " _I need my towel; I won't leave this shower without it_! Why?! I'm not going to look! _Kyungsoo_!!"  
  
"Oh my God," Baekhyun whispers in an odd mixture of horror and amazement at this near perfect impression of a conversation Baekhyun and Kyungsoo had at their camp two days ago. "That's _insane_."  
  
"Chanyeol," Chanyeol grins again, pounding on his chest once more before reaching to do the same to Baekhyun, announcing the researcher's name with glee.  
  
This time, Baekhyun just lets him do it. "Unbelievable... Chanyeol- wait, Chanyeol, can you take me to my camp?"  
  
Chanyeol frowns at him, then his face lights up like it's all suddenly clicked. "Camp! Kyungsoo!"  
  
"Yes! Yes," Baekhyun nods enthusiastically, relief flooding through his system because he thinks he's _finally_ gotten through to Chanyeol. "Take me! Kyungsoo, go!"  
  
"Kyungsoo!" Chanyeol shouts happily, leaping to his feet, perfectly balanced on the branch as he runs to the end and leaps off, catching himself on a swinging vine with a joyful howl. "Camp!!"  
  
Baekhyun sits there on the branch numbly for a moment, watching Chanyeol swing away from him and feeling like he's completely missed the point. About another half second passes before he's shrieking; " _Chanyeol_! Come _back_!!"  
  
Amazingly, Chanyeol does come back, swinging back around and dropping onto the branch again before blinking down at Baekhyun's fuming face innocently. "Baekhyun?"  
  
Baekhyun just glares at him and struggles to stand up on the branch, grabbing on to Chanyeol's shoulder for support when he has no choice but to let go of the tree and winding himself around the wild man's bare body, holding on tight as if to pass on a clear message that he is _not_ getting left behind. (And, Baekhyun tells himself, he definitely does not enjoy it one bit. Definitely not.)  
  
"Kyungsoo," Baekhyun orders grumpily now, even as Chanyeol wraps one muscled arm around Baekhyun so he's attached that bit more securely. "Camp."  
  
The journey back to camp is, quite frankly, petrifying; swinging from vine to vine when Baekhyun knows full well they could fall at any moment. Though, as they’re soaring through the air like some kind of giant bird, Baekhyun holds on that little bit tighter to Chanyeol and has to admit: this research trip just got a whole lot more interesting.


End file.
